23 Comments

    • Susan Maccarelli

      I dates a boy all through high school and his mother would use that term ‘steam off an elephant’s ass’ on occasion. I thought it was worthy of repeating. Glad you enjoyed.

  1. haha! I HATE those places. I’m one of the moms avoiding them at all costs, and then praying for 3 days after that they didn’t contract a disease when we ARE forced to go in one. And, the winter? Yikes. Everyone coughing and sneezing all over the place. Excuse me while I go rock in a fetal position in the corner trying to get those images out of my mind. I have never and will never climb into one of those things! My kid will have to figure out how to get out on his own.

    • Susan Maccarelli

      Meredith – right there with you on the fear of illness for a 3-5 day period after. I made the mistake of letting my kids on the mall play play a week before Christmas last year and was SURE they were going to contract typhoid just in time for santa. They were fine. I should write a post on needless worry.

  2. Our daughter is two and is just getting into the Play Place. My parents were in town last week and she got to go TWICE. We had to get a tiny employee to go up to get her when she decided to just camp out up there crying for Daddy. (they didn’t want us going up, I’m not overweight or anything, but the employee was undoubtably much lighter than me). Also the first play place had duct tape wrapped around the canvas webbing. It looked safe…

    • Susan Maccarelli

      I’m telling you, every kid gets stuck in the depths at least once. Twice in one week ensures she’ll contract the plague…

  3. Petrie dish for sure – I once read about some team that went around and swabbed these things down to check for viruses. I seem to recall it was like crawling through the waste disposal system at your local clinic.

    • Susan Maccarelli

      I heard somewhere that Chick Fil-A is one of the few places that has standards for cleaning their play places. I’m sure it is still awful, but I tell myself that it is better than the others….

      • Chick-Fil-A is the only play place I don’t think twice about letting my son in. They clearly have a good cleaning routine established. Now McD’s? That gives me nightmares. Those are nasty.

  4. Jill

    My patronage of these places is weather induced. Now that we’ve moved to a warmer, sunnier climate, the indoor playground will be used sparingly. I never want to touch my kids after they’ve been slithering around in the ballpit. EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW.

  5. iwantadinosaur2014

    hahahahaha!! Oh my gosh, you had me laugh out loud laughing Susan!!! ‘kids heads the size of dinner plates. Will they grow into them? Maybe.’ LOL.
    And yes, the noise in those places is most certainly louder than any concert I’ve been to. Those places hit a Mariah Carey decibel levels. I do almost everything in my power to avoid places that have play structures. If we do choose to eat fast food, I amp it up ‘How about In N’ Out?!?!?!? MILKSHAKES!!! WOO HOOO!’ Anything to get out of Chick Fil A…mainly because that is the only other option (somehow in my brain I’ve decided that it is one of the ‘healthier’ fast food joints–which makes no sense, i know). I’d sooner suffer a bullet wound rather than enter a McDonalds or Burger King.

    • Susan Maccarelli

      I am with you on chick fil-a – i have convinced myself that it is second to whole foods in health benefits.

  6. Mommy Crusader

    Hilarious! Beyond laugh out loud! I almost woke up my kiddos while reading this post! Thanks so much for your fabulous treatment of one of my worst nightmares. 🙂 Pinning this, that’s for sure!

  7. I grew up with a grandmother that hated the outdoors. Every time grandma came to visit, she would take me and the siblings to a McDonald’s play place for a day of happy meals, fish fillets, ball pit, and tunnel climbing fun.

    The one thing that sticks out in my mind about these adventures was the ever present seductive music playing loudly over the play place’s speakers. I have a distinct memory of finding a band-aid in the ball pit while Color Me Badd’s I Wanna Sex You Up was blaring in the background.

    I’m pretty sure play places are bad for both children and adults.

  8. This post is hilarious! And true… I can’t even remember the last time I went into one of those things because I hate them so much. I rarely even let my little ones go in there.
    Thanks for linking up at Mommy Needs a TImeout Thursday!

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