I’ve never let anyone babysit my kids except for the two sets of grandparents. It’s partially because I don’t trust anyone else to do it, but it’s also because I’m a little worried about the
victim babysitter’s sanity and well-being.
I’ve had hands-on training for 4 years and can barely get through a day, so I’m not sure how a stranger would fare. For this reason, I have written up a short disclaimer for anyone who may undertake the sitting-on of my kids.
You are required to keep the following information confidential so that other potential babysitters can still be lulled into a false sense of security before the parents exit the house, breathing the sweet smell of freedom, and laughing at your misfortune.
Any views or opinions expressed by the 2 and 4-year-old while out of our immediate supervision are solely those of 2 lunatics and do not necessarily represent those of the parents.
The children are expressly required not to make defamatory statements related to meals, rules, and punishments, however, they could not care less about this requirement, and will whine and complain anyway.
The parents do not accept liability for any human-to-human bites, eardrum damage caused by near dog-decibel shrieks, noxious butt wipes, destruction of personal property or bodily harm caused by ill-placed Legos, Barbie shoes and/or other Squinkie-sized goodies.
Victim Babysitter Signature)