Disclaimer For The Babysitter

I’ve never let anyone babysit my kids except for the two sets of grandparents.  It’s partially because I don’t trust anyone else to do it, but it’s also because I’m a little worried about the victim babysitter’s sanity and well-being.

I’ve had hands-on training for 4 years and can barely get through a day, so I’m not sure how a stranger would fare.  For this reason, I have written up a short disclaimer for anyone who may undertake the sitting-on of my kids.

disclaimer babysitter

Photo By: SUSAN MACCARELLI of peckedtodeathbychickens.com

Dear Babysitter,

You are required to keep the following information confidential so that other potential babysitters can still be lulled into a false sense of security before the parents exit the house, breathing the sweet smell of freedom, and laughing at your misfortune.

Any views or opinions expressed by the 2 and 4-year-old while out of our immediate supervision are solely those of 2 lunatics and do not necessarily represent those of the parents.

The children are expressly required not to make defamatory statements related to meals, rules, and punishments, however, they could not care less about this requirement, and will whine and complain anyway.

The parents do not accept liability for any human-to-human bites, eardrum damage caused by near dog-decibel shrieks, noxious butt wipes, destruction of personal property or bodily harm caused by ill-placed Legos, Barbie shoes and/or other Squinkie-sized goodies.

________________________ (Victim Babysitter Signature)

 

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15 Comments

  1. I could totally have copied this disclaimer for my own, if I ever had a babysitter! Like you, I too couldn’t trust the babysitter crumbling into a pile of mush in the first 20 minutes!!

  2. When they get a little older, you’ll need a “what’s said in the house stays in the house” clause. Kids have the most uncanny ability to bring up the one fact or story that is most mortifying when they chat with acquaintances.

      • Jo

        I have only found you again since I’m off work for many weeks. I hope to be able to figure out how to get to your blog. You are quite a funny young lady. Maybe someday I’ll write a blog about my experiences in home care nursing ( i.e. the very well endowed man who wanted a picture of his necrotizing faciitis of his scrotum). I have some stories…..

  3. Human to human bites – ouch! It’s no wonder my daughter has no interest in babysitting – she probably remembers what she was like when she was little!

  4. Ugh…I can totally relate to this! When my kids were little I didn’t know anyone around me and trusting strangers was out of the question, plus my youngest had been running me ragged since the day she was born! Even still I won’t let anyone babysit her who hasn’t had experience with a child like her-full of surprises!

  5. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have a babysitter for my boys (except family) until they were 4 and 6 – for the exact same reason. Could have used something like this back then!

  6. …so what I want to know is, have you actually had the pleasure of hiring a babysitter? Scott and I haven’t, and I feel like we are light years away — primarily due to the reasons you listed above: the no trust thing, yadda, yadda, yadda.)

    I feel like my mom will be the one to watch our kids until they are old enough to watch themselves, which is, again, light years away. :-/

    • Susan Maccarelli

      I have NOT hired a babysitter yet and my oldest is 4. I don’t see it happening. But if I do, I am prepared with the right paperwork :o)

  7. Susan I can’t tell you how much I relate to this. I must admit I am little paranoid with babysitters and like you have never left my three with anyone but grandparents (and a couple times parents night out at the sports club we go to where they stay in a big group of kids) However I laughed out loud to your disclaimer as it feels universal and can apply to my kids as well. Visiting back from SITS and so happy you found me and that I visited and found your internet home. XOXO, Elif

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