1. courtneyconover

    Can I just cut to the chase right now and declare your 1982 story epic? (Actually, you had me at Osh-Kosh; I, too was a little bit tom boy and a little bit rock-n-roll. Oh!! And please believe, Kennedy will be rocking Scotty’s gender-neutral Osh Kosh overalls this summer, but I digress…)

    Okay. Back to poop. Here’s a vague story that’s been passed down the family like a recipe through the years, but like a game of telephone, the details are getting murky…

    My dad ran track at the University of Michigan, and one of his best friends was this big guy, Mike, who was a popular UM football player. Well, one day, might was leaving Michigan stadium and got shitted on by some birdie square on the forehead. Because of this, Mike became an easy target for jokes…even after he married my mom’s sister…and even after he got drafted into the NFL to play for the New York Jets. The pop story was like a gift that kept on giving…

  2. OMG – your story is hilariious! Every bit of the story is perfect. Any 2nd grader who still attracts the boys while “rocking” bird poop, must have been a man-trap!! Also loving the memory of those turtlenecks with little critters all over them – I think I had one with little green turtles.. It matched my green cord levi’s. Seriously fashionable!

    (I really don’t have an amusing bird poop story. I have been hit in the face with bird poop going 65 mph on a motorcycle. It hurt, and I’m pretty sure I got some in my mouth. But other than that, no goodie However, my sister has a good one! I will ask her to come to your blog and share!)

    Thanks for making me smile with your stories! Julia

  3. Thanks for the giggle! Now that I’m a birder (think those people from “The Big Year” who gaze vacuously, with open mouths…), I’m remembering to keep my mouth CLOSED when I bird watch. I’ve been pooped on by a hummingbird, but it was more like watery spit and kind of cute…

    • Susan Maccarelli

      Ummmm – ‘cute’ bird poop is a first for me. Although if any bird had cute poop, it would be the hummingbird.

  4. I have a friend that claims she’s the target of birds constantly. I am going to share this post with her. So funny! My 4 year old was playing at a park once and I made the epic mistake of telling him a bird had pooped on the back of his shirt. He was oblivious before I said anything. After that, he stood completely frozen and unwilling to play at the park. Which of course, was contrary to what I was trying to accomplish which was to sit still and have a moment of peace while my kid ran around and got his energy out. We ended up removing the shirt entirely before he would resume playing. Why I ever said anything is beyond me.
    Also, I spent my sophomore year at Texas A&M and I swear that campus had a bird problem. There were certain parking spots that if you parked there, your car would literally be covered when you came back out. I learned that the hard way.

  5. fivefrogsblog

    Love it. I am SO stealing that question for use in various social – and professional – situations. Thanks for linking up!

  6. The minute I saw the photo of that feathered fiend I knew I was on to something. We have flocks of them in and around our building. They gang up and occupy my balcony. NO amount of “shoo, shoo” bothers them and one might easily believe that I am the one encroaching into their space. Whatever I do, there’s one thing that’s a fixture on my weekend list – scrape the shit off the balcony floor. Errgh. I doubt if I cleaned so much poop when my son was young. No, no doubts. I did not. Maybe that’s why life is giving me this balance nonsense.

    And now, we’re getting the building painted, and no sooner did the first coat go up – these guys have left little nuggets of their wisdom from their alimentary canal.

    Okay – since you insist – I may as well confess that one of those idiots made off with my lacy red bra. I clearly remembered hanging it out to dry, strategically covered by larger garments on the clothesline on either side of the one on which my red bra dried. I was particularly proud of the set, because it was very difficult to get it and I treasured it. So anyway, apparently, I was the idiot who did not pin it to the clothesline and the pigeons must have thought, hey, look what’s here and snitched it to investigate.

    I presumed my Mom had put the clothes away and turned the house upside down looking for the missing garment. I recall we had guests and well – I couldn’t even tell them what I was so worked up about losing.

    So fancy my stunned surprise a couple of weeks later, as my Mom and I were enjoying a really strong cup of filter coffee – when she spotted something fluttering near the pipe that disappeared up an alcove from our vantage point in our balcony. Curious, we approached it, and what should we find but the missing garment – tattered and truly checked out. Usable? Certainly not. But the incident became one of those standard laughter moments. Any time we saw red, we giggled.

    The sad part is – I’ve not been able to find one quite like it.


    🙂 Nice to meet you Susan. 😀 Thanks for visiting my blog today (via the BloggingBetties) ♥

  7. Oh and by the way – the more superstitious among us believe that when a bird poops on the head or any body part for that matter, it is lucky.

    Lucky for whom, I ask!

  8. so my girlfriend Vidya’s story just totally grossed me out. I got the shivers all the way up my spine. Susan, girlfriend, you are way more social than I to even think to come up with ice-breaker questions. Brilliant I tell you. As for bird poop…We live in an old 3 story frame house. The roof is pointed. Looks like those houses I drew as a kid. The pigeons flock there. It’s actually kinda creepy seeing them all line up from one end to the other. Miraculously I’ve never been hit yet. That could change this evening when I head out to the market, but so far…so good. Still… creepy having them there. I’m just glad it’s NYC pigeons and not crows.

    • Susan Maccarelli

      You realize that you have officially jinxed yourself right? Take cover and wrap yourself in plastic with a visor if you must go out. Godspeed.

  9. So true! Don’t we all have bird poop stories! One of my favorite stories actually happened to my friend when I was with her. I know I have one but don’t think they’re quite as funny. You have the best series!! 😉

  10. My story of bird poop was 2/3 times when I found that the sparrows targeted my clothes that I hanged on for drying at the balcony and they pooped in the best clothing I have among the other clothes, be it my favorite sweater or my favorite set of pants, or my favorite tops. Sigh birds!

    Once, a crow pooped at my head and I pretended as if nothing happened, but when I came back home, I had to scrub it off my head with lots of shampoo and conditioner. :/

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